Communications 101

Let's face it; those of us whose fiftieth year has come and gone are a little skittish about communications these days. Sitting in an audience watching the twenty-something in front of you madly text messaging while you are just madly bored brings on a certain jealousy. Those of us who are thumbed out when it comes to texting can feel communications-challenged. We've never made a video for YouTube. Our faces are nowhere to be found on FaceBook. And for our ilk, MySpace is just a hangout for predators. When we were twenty, we sat around waiting for our princess phones to ring, and a calendar was something hanging on the wall on which you wrote in peoples' birthdays.
So it was with a certain satisfaction that I read my daughter Liz' first publication--Client Meeting Guidelines. Liz is a 29 year old vice president at a Boston public relations firm. As such, she has the responsibility of supervising many young (younger than she is!) account executives. And, guess what, they don't know how to communicate with us. Frumpy as we baby boomers are, we are the ones who are now in positions where we make decisions about which PR firms to hire. After enough bad experiences, Liz thought it necessary to give these young texters a short course in communicating with us. So go ahead, be smug as you read these examples from Liz' manual, and I'm not making this up, (because I couldn't!)
from Meeting/Greeting the Client:
"Provide a firm handshake and a confident smile."
from Away Meetings: Getting There:
"MapQuest should only be used as a back up for obtaining directions. If the client's website does not include directions, you should obtain directions from your client directly."
from Appearance/Demeanor during the Meeting:
"Do not chew gum during the meeting."
"Appear awake and interested in the subject matter at all times."
from Communication during the Meeting:
"Do not ask obvious questions about the client's business--you should already understand their business."
from Safe Conversation Topics at Lunch/Small Talk before the Meeting:
"Sports: Red Sox (remember, this is Boston!) or whatever team your client prefers."
and my personal favorite, The Maturity Factor:
"Do not make references to your parents or 'going home' to your parents' house."
"Do not make references to 'when you were little.'"
"Do not let the client know if you have just graduated from college."
"Do not make references to keg parties."
"Maintain solid posture and polite table manners."
Heck, we may be old, but we do know all this stuff. So don't feel sheepish about needing a manual to understand web 2.0 and social networking sites. At least we already know not to trust MapQuest!